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Habit 4: Think Win-Win®
The Habit of Mutual Benefit
Think Win-Win isn’t about being nice, nor is it a quick-fix technique. It is a character-based code for human interaction and collaboration.
Most of us learn to base our self-worth on comparisons and competition. We think about succeeding in terms of someone else failing—if I win, you lose; or if you win, I lose. Life becomes a zero-sum game. There is only so much pie to go around, and if you get a big piece, there is less for me; it’s not fair, and I’m going to make sure you don’t get anymore. We all play the game, but how much fun is it really?
Win-win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win means agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying. We both get to eat the pie, and it tastes pretty darn good!
To go for win-win, you not only have to be empathic, but you also have to be confident. You not only have to be considerate and sensitive, but you also have to be brave. That balance between courage and consideration is the essence of real maturity and is fundamental to win-win.
Why Win-Win?
Many people think in terms of either/or: either you’re nice or you’re tough. Win-win requires that you be both. It is a balancing act between courage and consideration.
There are three vital character traits that are essential to this paradigm:
- Integrity: sticking with your true feelings, values, and commitments.
- Maturity: expressing your ideas and feelings with courage and consideration for the ideas and feelings of others.
- Abundance Mentality: believing there is plenty for everyone.
“In the long run, if it isn’t a win for both of us, we both lose. That’s why win-win is the only real alternative in interdependent realities.”
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The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
01
Focus and act on what you can control and influence instead of what you can’t.
02
Define clear measures of success and a plan to achieve them.
03
Prioritize and achieve your most important goals instead of constantly reacting to urgencies.
04
Habit 4: Think Win-Win®
Collaborate more effectively by building high-trust relationships.
05
Influence others by developing a deep understanding of their needs and perspectives.
06
Develop innovative solutions that leverage diversity and satisfy all key stakeholders.
07
Increase motivation, energy, and work/life balance by making time for renewing activities.
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What is a Win Win Situation?
A win win situation is the result of a mutual-gains approach to negotiation in which parties work together to meet interests and maximize value creation.
In a win win negotiation, when both sides are satisfied with their agreement, the odds of a long-lasting success are much higher. Finding your way to a win-win situation often involves reaching mutual gains by trading off your differing preferences to create value.
While a win-win may be the ultimate goal in business negotiation, it can sometimes prove elusive. One common negotiation mistake that sabotages a win win situation is to escalate expectations by making a steep concession that could lead the other side to expect another.
A related win win mistake is to agree to your counterpart’s demands too quickly.
Despite this, simply advertising the fact that you’re looking for a win win situation may be half the battle. One promising strategy is to look for ways to find more value through trades.
First, prepare to present multiple proposals—all of which you value highly—to your counterpart at the same time. Her reactions to these proposals will help you better gauge her preferences across issues. Second, ask lots of questions to directly assess her interests and reveal your own. Third, make hypothetical “What if…” proposals to determine if a trade genuinely creates value for both sides, such as “If I offered you a 5% discount on our new product, would that be enough of an incentive for you to switch from our existing product?”
Discover how to handle complicated, high-level business negotiations in this free special report, Win-Win or Hardball? Learn Top Strategies from Sports Contract Negotiations, from Harvard Law School.
We will send you a download link to your copy of the report and notify you by email when we post new advice and information on how to improve your business negotiation skills to our website.
The following items are tagged a win win situation:
Do Attitudes in Negotiation Influence Results?
Posted December 8th, 2022 by & filed under Conflict Resolution.
Many people consider negotiations to be stressful and threatening. Others view them as challenges to be overcome. Do these different attitudes influence the outcomes that people reach? New research by professors Kathleen M. O’Connor of Cornell University and Josh A. Arnold of California State University sheds light on this important question. … Read
Win-Win or Hardball: Learn Top Strategies from Sports Contract Negotiations
Posted April 18th, 2015 by PON Staff & filed under Free Report.
In this Special Report, we offer advice from the world of sports to help you navigate your most important negotiations. You will learn to get your head in the game, manage team dynamics, and get a competitive edge. … Read
The Advantages of Bias at the Negotiation Table
Posted November 29th, 2022 by PON Staff & filed under Business Negotiations.
What impact do cognitive biases have on bargaining scenarios? Work by negotiation researchers Russell B. Korobkin of UCLA and Chris P. Guthrie of Vanderbilt University suggests how to turn knowledge of four specific biases into tools of persuasion. … Read
The Difficulty of Achieving a Win-Win Negotiation Outcome
Posted November 14th, 2022 by Katie Shonk & filed under Win-Win Negotiations.
In a negotiation, it may help to signal to your counterpart your willingness to engage in bargaining aimed at creating a win-win outcome for both parties. … Read
For NFL Players, a Win-Win Negotiation Contract Only in Retrospect?
Posted November 10th, 2022 by Katie Shonk & filed under Win-Win Negotiations.
How did the NFL Players association and team owners come to an eventual win-win negotiated agreement? In this article we explore the strategies each side used to get to an integrative solution even if that was not the ultimate goal. … Read
Win Win Negotiation: Managing Your Counterpart’s Satisfaction
Posted October 17th, 2022 by PON Staff & filed under Win-Win Negotiations.
As the following points of win-win negotiation will demonstrate, ensuring that your counterpart is satisfied with a particular deal requires you to manage several aspects of the negotiation process, including his outcome expectations, his perceptions of your outcome, the comparisons he makes with others, and his overall negotiation experience itself. … Read
Win-Win Negotiation Strategies for Rebuilding a Relationship
Posted October 4th, 2022 by Katie Shonk & filed under Win-Win Negotiations.
When negotiators come together after a period of mutual mistrust, it can be difficult for each side to reconcile their grievances with the other. Here are some strategies that others have used to bring bargaining counterparts together even after a long, contentious period of silence. … Read
How to Create Win-Win Situations
Posted September 26th, 2022 by Katie Shonk & filed under Win-Win Negotiations.
In business negotiation, a win-win agreement may be the ultimate goal, but it can sometimes prove elusive. Here, we offer four strategies from experts at the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School on how to create win-win situations in even the trickiest negotiations. … Read
How to Use Tradeoffs to Create Value in Your Negotiations
Posted September 1st, 2022 by PON Staff & filed under Win-Win Negotiations.
How do expectations of fairness and reciprocity at the bargaining table impact negotiator decisions regarding the strategies and tactics they use at the negotiation table? … Read
To Achieve a Win Win Situation, First Negotiate with Yourself
Posted November 25th, 2021 by PON Staff & filed under Negotiation Skills.
In business negotiations, our actions and reactions often go against our best interests. Self-examination can help, writes Getting to Yes author William Ury in his new book. … Read
Coming Up with Win-Win Solutions at the Bargaining Table
Posted October 27th, 2020 by PON Staff & filed under Business Negotiations.
Even those who effectively engage in an integrative negotiations or mutual-gains approach to negotiation, a bargaining scenario in which parties work together to meet interests and maximize value creation during the negotiation process, can be stymied by the task of dividing up a seemingly fixed pie of resources, such as budgets, revenue, and time. … Read
Win Win Negotiation: Different Cultures, Shared Meals
Posted October 1st, 2020 by PON Staff & filed under Win-Win Negotiations.
From movie moguls hammering out film deals in Los Angeles to publishers and agents assessing each other’s tastes in New York, the “power lunch” has become a familiar institution. Across the globe, negotiators often do business over shared meals, whether out of convenience or as part of a concerted effort to get to know one … Read
Win-Win Negotiation with Bethenny Frankel
Posted November 19th, 2015 by PON Staff & filed under Business Negotiations.
In this negotiation scenario straight from reality television, Lu Ann de Lesseps, Ramona Singer, and Sonja Morgan test their negotiating prowess against reality tv network Bravo in their contract renewal renegotiations. Skinnygirl mogul and financial whiz kid, Bethenny Frankel, offers a template for bargaining for success on reality tv and beyond. … Read
Seeking a Win-Win Negotiation? Pass the Chips and Salsa
Posted August 19th, 2015 by Katie Shonk & filed under Win-Win Negotiations.
From movie moguls hammering out film deals in Los Angeles to publishers and agents assessing each other’s tastes in New York, the “power lunch” has become a familiar institution. Across the globe, negotiators often do business over shared meals, whether out of convenience or as part of a concerted effort to get to know one … Read
Negotiation: Challenge or threat?
Posted September 13th, 2011 by PON Staff & filed under Daily, Negotiation Skills.
Adapted from “Do Attitudes Influence Results?” first published in the Negotiation newsletter, January 2007. Many people consider negotiations to be stressful and threatening. Others view them as challenges that can be overcome. Do these different attitudes influence the outcomes that people reach? Research by professors Kathleen O’Connor of Cornell University and Josh Arnold of California State … Read